The antisocial me has returned.

Feeling very irritable and jittery and bad tonight. Horrible. Just thought i’d get that thought out.

I’m sure its my medication.

Note to self; i need to start taking it an hour before bed time, as i always end up a fidgety anxious mess when i’m trying to settle down at night.

A productive day which has been great, however, the hole in my chest is still there though i’m just managing to get by with it. Recieved some more bad news from the bank today – after being a recent victim of fraud and having money replaced by generous family members, the bastard bank have taken another £350 due to overdraft charges and interest! Clearly not our fault again, and it just seems so unjust. We have £3 of the £850 family put towards covering the money we lost and covering the overdraft the robbing twats dipped in to.

Trying to stay calm about a situation that is falling apart in our hands has proven to be extremely difficult when you’re genuinely trying to fix your life.

Got out for a coffee with a friend, and had a nice hour out to myself away from the usual role of motherhood. Considering it was a treat for me, i just wasnt feeling it today. Im usually very grateful to have a chat with a friend, but all i wanted to do was crawl in to bed and be on my own. Plus i ended up having too many coffees and the auditory hallucinations started up again. Makes me look like a right fruit loop when i’m getting distressed because i’m hearing things that no one around me can.

Also bumped in to an old friend tonight whilst in the local shop and i freaked. Socialising was just too much for me, as unexpected as it was, it wasn’t a nice moment. I couldnt get out of the doors fast enough.

Appetite has gone, i’ve struggled to eat (completely out of character for me!) fought off a nap all afternoon but at least i managed to get a job application sent off so that was a good lift to the day.

Nothing to report until i get back to the GP and try a second attempt at begging for that much needed refferal.

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