Strength

I’m at a stable 5.

As it turns out, the Dog wasn’t here to stay. Seems that the sedative brought my system down but only temporarily. For the past 48 hours, I’ve been low (and feeling the effects especially when I fell from a psychotic sleepless 8 to a nasty 3!), but right now I feel for the first time in weeks, my thoughts are purely my own.

Having ‘quiet time’ in my mind has had me thinking… For the past year I’ve been reaching out to others in a desperate attempt for someone else to save me, instead of relying on myself to pick me up. This realisation has made me feel painful lonely, even a little what rejected. But for the first time in a long time I feel strong enough to deal with it.

I just hope I can stay in this healthy mind frame long enough to act upon and make use of it. Look after me, make peace with myself. I’m hurting – bad- and it’s okay.

Welcome home Megan, it’s been a while.

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2 thoughts on “Strength

  1. That last line, ‘Welcome home,’…I’ve been home a while now, and I used to hold my breath, waiting for the day that I would disappear once again into the murky vagueness where the disease hides me. Congrats on your 5!

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