Things are looking up. I still don’t have a home, but it’s been nice to spend some quality time with my dad who has helped me out with a place to crash whilst I’m piecing back together the puzzle of my new life.
The past two weeks, I’ve plunged in to it. Felt the fear of the unknown, and used the energy to become productive and be my potential. I’ve transformed in to a Victor from a victim. I’ve flipped the world I’ve come to know, spun it on it’s head and sprinkled a little bit of sweetness on top just for the sake of it. I’m starting my life from scratch, with nobody to hold me back, nobody to control me. I have opened the novel of my life, and for the first time I have seen blank pages – one where I can write the story myself. This must be what freedom feels like.
I am happy. Not depressed, not overly exuberant, but… Content.
My Can’ts have turned in to my Cans, and my Won’ts in to ‘Yes, you bloody well wills’.
I finally see the importance of being independent. I do not need anybody else in my life, the loneliness I used to feel has disappeared, even when I only have myself for company. I can say Yes or No as I please. I’m learning to love myself, and be happy with who I am.
I have finally not only realised that I do not need people that drag me down in my life, but I have learned to act upon it. And once I got through the threshold, the other side was a little less scary, and a whole lot of easy. Things seem so much simpler than they were, and nothing is a jumbled mess anymore. Things have just clicked in to place and I’m finally sailing through life.
I’m taking chances. I’m opening up to the world, meeting new people and saying yes to life. It’s not as scary anymore, and when I do feel the fear I put it behind me and charge ahead. I feel stronger.
I will be okay.