Clean.

Yesterday was the first day I didn’t find myself using opiates to cope. I have been having the odd one or two pills (down from 10 in two weeks) and I’ve only just remembered that yesterday went by without me even thinking of them. My anxiety is gone. Whether it has cleared up from not abusing codeine, or I don’t feel the need to use as the new medication has controlled the anxiety? I have no idea, but I’m grateful that this may all be over very soon.

Last month, I had a dry month. Midnight until midnight I was clean of any alcohol, to control the risk of cross addicting. There has been no self harm incidents. No bad thoughts of harming myself whatsoever.

And I can hold my head up and have the pride to say that my decision to cut clean from my partner of 6 years, the father to my child, has saved my life.