I’ve been having a very ‘odd’ depersonalisation/hallucination episode which has been brought on naturally but more often from drinking coffee. I call it octopus arms.
Two days ago, I was sat there having my morning brew when all of a sudden my arms felt numb and a bit strange. I had the sensation that I had more arms than one attatched to my shoulders. So I looked down at my arms and saw that they had elongated in length. I had really long skinny spaghetti arms and I thought it was hilarious.
“OMG I’m an Octopus!”
Obviously, I’ve been aware that my new medication has had strange effects on me, and that this was pushing reality a little too much (paranoid delusions are a little harsher one me – I cannot distinguish from reality from my head). So I just enjoyed this amusing sensation whilst I ate my breakfast. Then it started getting a little annoying. My left arm always seems to be the longer one in these episodes, and it started getting really heavy and exhausing to be carrying around. I felt bruised at the top of my arm, like someone had been injecting silicone in to my arms to make them grown with a big needle (thats when I really started questioning if this was really happening as I had to strip and check for needle marks in my arm – there was none). Then I started knocking things over on my dressing table with them, to which I would shout out ‘stupid f*****g arms’, stopping in my tracks realising what I’d said and not knowing whether to laugh or cry.
Pushing the pram up to my mothers, I’d look down at my arms and they would be detatched from the rest of my body. They were just long lanky sillicone sticks doing the work for me. They were cold and numb and it freaked me out a bit.
4 hours later I had my normal arms back.
I suppose its not the worst hallucination to be having, I have had it about 3-4 times now. I’ve also had caffeine induced peripheral hallucinations as well which are more sudden, almost like Im having a little glitch in my cortex where reality is distorted for a split second. I’ve only had hyperactivity from tonight’s coffee (which was what lead to the strange blog about caffeine, and will probably remain another project unfinished!) – no strange or out of control stuff which is strange. Maybe I really just can’t handle mornings.