Some people say, that grief washes over you like waves. Those some people, are absolutely right. When the morning approaches, it hits my body before my mind even has the chance to wake up and acknowledge the day. I feel it; a solid, heavy burning weight, like my heart has been set alight before I... Continue Reading →
Self care.
Self-care is a really difficult thing to endure when you are feeling under the weather yourself. This week, I have had to force myself to get up off the couch, get showered and eat. Life changes, illness, pain and other indemnities have left me feeling tense and angry over the last few weeks and this... Continue Reading →
Panic attack.
Hello there, Kitchen floor. It’s been quite a while, since the last time my cheek touched yours.
When mental illness gets the best of you, we remind ourselves of who we are.
The solid floor, cold against my tear stained cheek was my body’s point of reference to centre myself. I open my eyes and allow them to explore the tiny flecks of iridescent colours shimmering upon it’s textured surface. I feel my chest beginning to expand again and finally I can breathe. I pull myself up,... Continue Reading →
Tonight, I swam.
Tonight I stepped out, placed my toes in the sea Felt the waves on my skin, how cold they might be Looked out past the shore, past the river than ran Tonight I went swimming, the night that I swam. I plunged in the deep, to the dark and the blue And swam in the... Continue Reading →
Clouds.
It is January 2017, and the new year has delivered a depression. I woke up one morning, and my life was full of clouds. Have you ever felt the air around you grow dense, so much that it’s notibly weighty when you breath it in, almost like you was inhaling a thick glug of syrup,... Continue Reading →
The Bad Week – A prime example of how external influences can affect my mood swings.
It all started when I woke up one morning and it hurt to pee. Many females are familiar with the uncomfortable sensation, especially if you are one of the lucky ladies such as myself with UTI’s frequently occurring a few times a year (ouch), even more so, if you find them problematic to shift. Hence,... Continue Reading →
The Interval – a glimmer of stability in a mad, mad world.
Life is stable. As stable as it could possibly be in my situation anyway. I’m back on my old medication; a very low dose of Quetiapine, mixed in with an anti-depressant for the fun of it, and things have settled pretty well. I have been discharged from the care of my Psychiatrist and back to... Continue Reading →
The power of hypnosis – and how it played a huge part in my recovery.
I remember the first time one of my therapists in my early days of my recovery, gave me a disk to use for my homework to tide me over until we were to meet again during the following weeks appointment. The disk contained a series of hypnosis tracks, which were bestowed on me to encourage... Continue Reading →
‘Here comes the sun’ – Appreciating stability.
After two weeks of aimlessly wondering around with a dreadful anxiety as a companion, she is slowly starting to turn the dimmer down on her radiation. She is still here no doubt, but she is getting bored now. Instead of letting my mentality slip, I have spent the past lonely days and nights acknowledging her... Continue Reading →
THE MANIC YEARS 